Death is an inevitable part of life, but for young children, it can be a difficult concept to grasp. Because it is such a difficult topic to discuss with a young child, many parents wait until there is a death in the family to explain to children what happens when someone dies. Death is a difficult concept to explain to children, especially if you are trying to process your own grief.

It is beneficial to explain death to children in stages; rather than during the turmoil of the passing of a loved one. Taking the time beforehand can better prepare the child for deaths they may experience later in life.

Around the age of four, children can grasp the first aspect of death – irreversibility. At this age, it’s helpful to explain that when a person dies, they cannot come back. You might explain death as a person going away forever. Try to avoid metaphors of sleep, as they might cause a child to become afraid of sleeping.

Between the ages of five and seven, children start to grasp another aspect of death – non-functionality. They will understand that a dead body cannot feel, move, eat, etc. This might be the appropriate time to introduce concepts of an afterlife, if you believe in one. You can explain to your child that when a person passes away, their body stops functioning here but their spirit continues to live in heaven.

Also during this age, a child can grasp death’s final aspect – universality. Every living thing will eventually perish; plants, animals and people alike. This subject can be frightening for a child to learn, so you’ll want to save this one for last.

You may want to start explaining death’s universality by talking about plants and animals; explaining how every autumn, the leaves die and fall off trees. You can then make the connection that people are living things and like all living things, we will eventually pass away.

Explaining death using these stages and in absence of the passing of a loved one can provide a clearer message to the child and better prepare them for funerals later in their childhood.